


Black Eyes

by holbytlanna



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Diane is a badass, F/M, Family Feels, Fluff, Gen, Let Jack Dalton Say Fuck, Nightmares, PTSD, Parental Jack Dalton, Past Domestic Violence, Pre-Series Jack, Trigger warnings:, and so is Riley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:42:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29552286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holbytlanna/pseuds/holbytlanna
Summary: Jack was a soldier, it’s natural that he has some PTSD. But so does Riley, even as young as fourteen.
Relationships: Jack Dalton (MacGyver TV 2016) & Riley Davis, Jack Dalton/Diane Davis (MacGyver TV 2016)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 24





	Black Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> I had this idea while working on Amaranthine, and I swear I did a "the Grinch had a wonderful, awful idea" face. I just had to get it written down. 
> 
> This is pre-series, when Jack was dating Diane.

Diane had thought she had done well when she married Elwood Davis. He was nice, funny, and his friendly smile brightened the tiny apartment -- all they could afford. They had Riley, and Diane had never been happier.

Riley had been the best thing to ever happen to her, even though she had been a terrible pain to give birth to. That just made the tiny girl even more precious to Diane. She and Elwood were able to move to a bigger apartment, and they were happy. At least, until Elwood’s drinking became a little more frequent than Diane liked. She talked to him about it, about the kind of father he wanted to be, and he said he would do better. And he did, for a while. 

Riley was four the first time Elwood hit Diane. By then, there wasn’t anything Diane could do about her husband’s drinking. He had hit her because she poured out all the alcohol in the house, and she knew that if she tried again, or tried any other prevention, he would hit her again. Or worse, he could hurt Riley. 

That was something Diane would not stand for. She could take hits, and barbed words, and shouting matches. But she would be damned if she let the same happen to her daughter.

Sometimes, Elwood did try to be a good father to Riley. He tried to help her with her elementary-school math and there was even one time he tried to braid Riley’s nigh-untameable hair. It didn’t go well, but Riley had been laughing and Elwood had been smiling and maybe, Diane thought, they could somehow make it work. Be a family, despite the lapses.

But it just got worse.

Riley was nine when he left. Diane finally gathered the courage to do what she should have done years ago: throw him out and change the locks. Later, they could file for divorce, but right then, the only thing she knew was that Elwood needed to be out of her house, and out of Riley’s life. 

And for a while, it was just Diane and her daughter, alone in their apartment. They got by. They were safe. And after a year or so, Diane felt confident enough to start dating again. She was in her early thirties, she was attractive and intelligent, and had no trouble finding beaux. The only problem was, it seemed like all the men she attracted were just as worthless as Elwood had been.

A few cheated, a few drank. One tried to knock her around, but she cleaned his clock. She had been hit too many times to allow another man hurt her the same way Elwood had. She almost never brought anyone home. The apartment was hers and Riley’s sanctuary, where it could be just them, alone and safe and free. Besides, Riley never liked any of the men Diane dated anyway. 

Until Jack.

Jack had bumped into her at a coffee shop, spilling both their drinks and throwing Diane’s danish onto the ground. He had been the picture of gentlemanly grace, cleaning up the mess he’d made, buying her replacements for the ruined food, and (with no small amount of Texan charm) gave her his number with a wink.

What a first impression.

A few dates later, she thought she had a pretty good read on Jack Dalton. An ex-military bathroom-tile salesman. And overall, a really great guy. Cheesy, funny, cute. Normal. Maybe she was getting ahead of herself, but she could picture a place for him in hers and Riley’s little world.

Riley hated him. From the get-go, she didn’t trust him, but Jack tried so hard. He bent over backward to win Riley over, and it absolutely melted Diane to see how much he cared about Riley’s opinion. Not a lot of her exes had, even though Riley was Diane’s entire world. 

Jack was a good man. He won Riley over, and won himself a place in their home. And one in Diane’s bed as well. Jack Dalton was a good-looking man, and chivalrous to boot. He hadn’t so much as mentioned sex until she had, and took her lead in all things. Which was damn sexy, in her opinion.

Not the first night, but the second, when they were getting ready to call it a night and go to sleep, he had told her about the nightmares. He had been halting, almost hesitant, as if afraid he would share too much and frighten her. He told her he had been in the army for a long time, and seen and done things that sometimes haunted him at night. 

Diane’s father had served in Vietnam. She knew what PTSD was, and how it could manifest itself. She had seen her father’s eyes go blank sometimes, and he would jump violently at sudden loud sounds. And every once in a while, there were “dad’s moods,” times when everyone in the house knew not to bother him. She assumed he had nightmares, but had no way of knowing. He had been a strong man, her father, and a proud one: he didn’t like to show his trauma and let it affect his family too heavily.

With Jack, PTSD seemed to take a different form. He seemed hyper-vigilant, though not quite bordering on paranoid, and of course, had night terrors. Sometimes, if Jack wanted to talk, Diane talked him through them. Other times, she just held him.

A few years went by. Jack was a good boyfriend and was slowly becoming almost a father-figure to Riley (and Diane could not begin to express how much she loved seeing her little girl being cared for and protected by a man who seemed to actually care). He didn’t drink, shout or lash out in anger. If they had disagreements, they settled them calmly, like civilised adults. He listened to Salt-N-Pepa just because Diane liked it, and he sang it loudly (and poorly) at Riley to make her smile. He couldn’t dance to music like that to save his life, but that didn’t stop him from grabbing Diane’s waist and waltzing her around the living room with surprising grace. 

In short, he was perfect. 

—————

Two years into living together, Diane wakes suddenly, startled. Jack, beside her, is tossing in his sleep, muffled shouts and groans escaping his tightly-locked jaw. Another nightmare. 

Diane sighs quietly, looking at her man sadly. It wasn’t fair that someone as good as Jack should be so tormented by nightmares. As she waits for him to wake himself up (he always wakes himself up, shaking and breathing hard; it’s heartbreaking to watch), she hears him murmur. “No, no, I don’t know. No, please. I don’t want to.” He isn’t waking up.

She can’t do it, can’t watch him suffer like this. She puts a hand on his shoulder, whispering “Jack, you’re safe, wake up, honey—” 

That’s as far as she gets before Jack sits bolt upright and there’s a blinding pain in her face that she had hoped never to feel again.

—————

Jack comes back to himself out of his nightmare. It had been a doozy. He was back in Bangladesh, only a few years ago, and being interrogated within an inch of his life. The CIA had trained him for torture resistance, and so had the army, but that didn’t make it suck any less. 

Breathing heavily, Jack knows immediately that something is wrong. He knows where he is, he’s in his and Diane’s room, their bed. But his fist throbs in the way that he knows can only mean one thing.

He looks to Diane, terrified of what he would find. He’s heard of other PTSD-riddled vets who’ve done serious injury to their partners, their kids, even total strangers who just happened to trigger them wrong. If he’s hurt Diane…

She’s holding a hand to her face, and the other she holds out softly to him. “Jack, honey, are you awake now?”

There’s a tremor in her voice, and it shakes Jack to his core. He hit her. He hit Diane. He promised her to keep her and Riley safe, but he couldn’t keep them safe from himself.

“My God. Diane, I’m… God, I’m sorry.” Sorry doesn’t begin to cover it.

She smiles softly, a little sad. “I’m okay, Jack.”

Like hell she is. She’s going to have a brilliant shiner. “No, no if you were okay, you’d be able to see out of your left eye.” He gets up. Diane tries to hold him back gently.

“I… I should go. I can move out. You shouldn’t have to live with me like this.” He’s so fucked up by his job that he ruined the best thing that’s happened to him since who-knows-when. He’s hurt his strong, good and beautiful Diane. Moving out and away from her and Riley would tear his heart out, but if Diane was even the slightest bit apprehensive around him (and why wouldn’t she be, now?) he would go. She deserved better than to live tiptoeing around a dangerous man. She and Riley both did.

He paces. “I knew this was a bad idea, I knew I shouldn’t have moved in, putting you in danger with my own stupid—” 

“Hey!” Diane calls out. It isn’t a yell, she doesn’t want to wake Riley. But she snaps Jack out of his pacing, his spiralling, standing up to intercept him. “Jack. Look at me.”

He doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to see his failure written black and blue across her beautiful face. But he could never refuse Diane anything. He lifts his eyes to hers, expecting anger, fear, judgement to be written there. But all he sees is love, and understanding.

“Jack. I’m okay. I know it was an accident.”

“I told you I’d never hurt you. I know what Riley’s father—”

“You’re  _ nothing  _ like Riley’s father.” She reaches a hand to his arm, rubbing up and down gently. “Nothing like him. He used to get drunk and angry. Nothing I did was enough. But you, Jack, you’re a good man.”  _ If only she knew… _ “I can see every day how much you care about me and Riley.” She smiles. “You think I’d keep you around if you weren’t so good with her, Jack?”

And that much was true; Jack knew Riley was everything to Diane. It’s part of the reason why he had worked so hard to win the stubborn girl over. She really was such a bright kid. And Diane wouldn’t have let him into their lives if she hadn’t trusted him (how can she trust him if he lies to her every day about what he does?).

“I still trust you, Jack,” she whispers, causing Jack’s heart to simultaneously melt and stop beating.  _ I don’t deserve that trust. I never have. _ “I still love you, Jack.” 

“What did I do to deserve a woman like you, Diane?” he breathes as she leads him back to bed. It’s still dark outside. They’ve got a few hours before they have to face the world, and Riley.

She holds him tightly, securely. Holds him in a way he hasn’t been held in years. She sees him, she knows exactly what he is. He’s dangerous, he’s volatile, he’s broken. But she holds him like he’s precious. He tears up.  _ Badass Delta man, crying. Look at you.  _ But Diane kisses him, and those thoughts fly away, replaced by  _ she still wants me. _ She still, for reasons he can’t fathom, trusts him. 

He goes back to sleep, revelling in love that he can’t possibly deserve, but has tried and will continue to try every single day to be worthy of.

—————

But in the morning,  _ oh god. Riley.  _

He was just starting to win her trust, just starting to think that maybe she would accept him. Maybe if not as a father figure, then at least as her mom’s boyfriend, a decent guy (he snorts at the thought as soon as it manifests in his brain.  _ Yeah right.  _ Jack hasn’t been a decent guy since he left his football career for the military). And now, she’ll be able to see it plain as day, blooming dark across her mother’s beautiful face. 

He knows that Riley’s father wasn’t winning any husband-of-the-year awards. Or father-of-the-year, either. He knows why Riley was so cold to him for the first few months, why Diane mutters in her sleep. And Jack’s always tried so hard to make himself better for them. He doesn’t drink, not enough to get himself drunk anyway. He always takes his cue on alcohol from Diane. And he keeps his voice low, and his movements obvious and as gentle as his gun-hardened hands can be. But it didn’t matter, not in the end, because even though Diane seems to see a difference between the black eyes her loser of a husband gave her and the one she’s sporting now, Jack sure can’t see it. And he knows that Riley, fierce, protective Riley, won’t either. 

And when Riley sees Diane in the morning, she jumps bolt upright at the table. Her eyes flash to Jack, burning with anger and distrust, just as he expected. Just as he deserves. Diane is holding Jack’s hand (not an uncommon occurrence, to walk to the breakfast table together), and she continues to hold it firmly under the scrutiny of her daughter. Jack has never loved her more, and has never felt less worthy of her. 

Diane explains what happened to Riley gently, saying that she still loves and trusts Jack. It was an accident, Jack would never,  _ never  _ hurt her or Riley. He stands still as she speaks, letting her trust wash over him in sweet waves, a sharp contrast to Riley’s unconcealed fury.

She never takes her eyes off Jack as Diane speaks, unwilling to let him out of her sight even for a moment. Jack knows that he has to start rebuilding trust with her if he wants to have the hope of staying. Or at least doing damage control, to see if there’s any hope of winning Diane’s brilliant kid back. Not that he deserves that, but Diane wants him to try. “Can I talk to you, Riley?”

Diane nods, and looks to Riley, who glares daggers at Jack still but nods, humouring her mother. “Thank you, honey,” Diane says as she squeezes Jack’s hand and smiles at her daughter.

Riley stays standing, guarded. She’s only fourteen. Too young to have the eyes Jack’s seen in wounded soldiers. Hurt, and angry at the world for hurting her. Diane goes, and Jack has to hope that it means something to Riley, that she would leave Jack and Riley alone. Riley is the thing Diane cares about most, her one priority, so maybe Riley could read into this that Diane trusts Jack with what’s most important to her. Jack knows that’s what he’s reading into the move, and he’s floored anew by her trust. “I’m only a room away,” she tells Riley, “but please listen to him.” Jack keeps his hands in plain view at all times, gently holding the back of a chair.

When he and Riley are alone, Jack takes a deep breath. “I… I fucked up, Ri.” He’s real with her, he always is. She’s old enough to hear the words, and there are no truer words for what he’s done. “I promised your mom a long time ago that I wouldn’t hurt her. And I hurt her last night. I…” He runs his hand over his face. How can he put his depravity onto this girl, only a child, really? How can he bare his brutal, damaged soul to the girl he’s come to love like a daughter? But it’s the only way to make her understand. 

“You know I was in the army.” He knows she knows, even if they don’t really talk about his past. “I’ve done things I’m not proud of. Things I’ve hated. Things that have made me hate myself.” He sits down slowly. 

Riley doesn’t move, doesn’t let her guard down at all, but there’s no longer just fury in her eyes. They aren’t softer, exactly, and no more forgiving than they’ve ever been, but she’s still listening, so Jack takes the gift he’s given.

“I’ve had to kill people and leave people to die. I’ve been captured by the enemy a few times and I am scarred. Both outside and inside. There are some days I can’t bring myself to even move out of bed because I can’t face myself. I have more nightmares than good dreams. And your mom knew that. Everything I just told you, she knows. For reasons I still can’t fathom, she still wanted me. She still does, and by God, I don’t deserve her.” Riley’s eyes flash in agreement, just as plain on her face as if she had nodded her head. 

“So last night, I had a nightmare. A bad one, worse than usual. And your mom, the angel that she is, she tried to wake me up. And I woke up swinging out at who I thought was the man hurting me and my buddies. And when I really woke up and came to my senses, it was your mom in front of me.

“I told her I’d move out right then.” Confusion flickers across Riley’s face. Briefly, but it’s there. “I was ready to pack up my stuff and go, so that that would never happen again. Ever. And she asked me to stay. I’m not trying to excuse what I’ve done. I’ve hurt her, and I’ve broken trust with you.”

She really nods this time. “You have.”

Jack nods back at her. “I know. But Riley, I want you to know that if your mom had told me to get out, I would be out that door right now. I would go as far away as she wanted me to go. If she didn’t feel safe on the same continent as me, I would have gone to China and beyond. If she didn’t want to be on the same planet as me, I would hop the next rocket to the moon, and if that was still too close I would go further.” He knows he’s rambling. He has to bring it back. “I really do love your mom, Riley. And you too. The last thing in the world I want to do is hurt either of you.”

Riley hadn’t changed her posture in the slightest, not in the whole time Jack has been pouring out his soul to her. But her face has changed almost entirely. And now, she sits. She keeps the table as a barrier between them, but opens her mouth to speak. 

“You… you would have left?”

Jack smiles softly. “If your mom asked me to, yes. I don’t want either of you to feel unsafe around me. Though I guess I kinda blew that last night. But I promise you, Riley, I promise that as long as you and your mom will have me, I’ll protect you. From anything and anyone. Including myself. Whatever that takes, I’ll do my damndest to keep you safe.”

She quirks her mouth in a small smile. “Promise?”

“Promise. And Jack Dalton don’t go back on his promises, Ri, not if he can help it.”


End file.
